Forgiveness – Why Bother?

One place I had to go in my journey of healing and recovery was back to the scene of our accident. I’ve been back there emotionally and eventually will go back physically when my mobility allows it.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Our brokenness and hurt was the result of driver error – the inattentiveness of one person who ran a stop sign and changed everything. Even as I tell that story, I feel a knot in my gut and a lump in my throat. 

Looking back over the past 16 months since that day, forgiveness has been an important part of the healing journey.  As far as I can measure my own soul healing and health, I believe I have forgiven the driver for his mistake.  I pray for him when I think of him and hold no ill will towards him.  Doing that helps me to keep moving forward in my healing.

Forgiveness is:

  • Me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.  

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.  — Glenn Clark

The Benefits of Forgiveness:

  • You experience healing of broken relationships

A massive family rift was averted in the Bible story of Joseph and his brothers. After being abused and later sold as a slave by his brothers, Joseph has the opportunity to get even but instead chooses to forgive: “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.  He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people” (Genesis 50).

  • You grow in character and integrity

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
– Proverbs 19:11
 The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. 
— Mahatma Gandhi

  • You experience physical and emotional health

Forgiveness results in a better immune system, lower blood pressure, better mental health, lower amounts of anger and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Unforgiveness results in a prison of resentment, bitterness and an erosion of the soul. The process of forgiving might take a while, but it`s a trip worth taking. It’s a decision worth making to “give up my right to hurt you for hurting me.”

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. – Suzanne Somers

Forgiveness is the decision to ACT in three ways:

Admit you`ve been hurt

  • Denial is the pathway to bitterness and loneliness.  Confession of your pain and hurt starts you down the road of healing.  When you admit your hurt, healing starts and leads to the ability to help others. If you are hurting and don’t admit it, you deflect the pain outward and walk around as a wounded wounder. Hurt people hurt people. 

Choose to forgive

  • You forgive not because you feel like it but because you decide to. As hard as it is to do sometimes, it sets you free to dance and live. If you can’t forgive with the strength you currently have, seek the outside help of God who promises us the strength to forgive others.

Take the time & trouble to be fully healed

  • Don’t see yourself short and quit half way to freedom. Press on in your journey with the pain from your hurt until you experience the freedom and peace that comes from the offenses that clutter and clog up your soul.

Is there anyone you need to give up the right to hurt because they have hurt you? What is your next step?

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About Cam Taylor

I'm help people live inspired, focused and tenacious lives. I work as a coach, facilitator, author, and speaker.
This entry was posted in Adversity, Emotions, forgiveness, Grief cycle, healing, learning, Perspective, self-awareness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Forgiveness – Why Bother?

  1. Brent Davis says:

    I love reading your blog posts Cam. This one is awesome.

    Brent

    • Cam Taylor says:

      Thanks Brent for joining the conversation and sharing your appreciation for the blog. I’m so glad you’re getting something from my posts! On the journey with you.

  2. Don Boyd says:

    Someone (not sure who) said, “Refusing to forgive (bitterness) is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.” So true!

  3. Randy Miller says:

    Thank you

  4. Michael Abercrombie says:

    As I am in Thailand attempting to understand why some of the cultures here are in crisis. Part of the complex explanation is the recurring scar from the lack of forgiveness. Villages move, families split, cooperative synergistic efforts are sabotaged and debilitating poverty results due to the inability to forgive. I really appreciate the timeliness of your post and, as always, find your practical approach helpful.

    • Cam Taylor says:

      Your global perspective points to truly a global problem & how unforgiveness can not just impact individuals but entire nations. May we work as peacemakers & ministers of reconciliation in a hurting world.

  5. Marilou says:

    Always a good word and something I have to work at on a daily basis. Keep the blogs coming!

  6. Pingback: From a Mother’s Perspective | camtaylor.net

  7. Terry Clyne says:

    Some good stuff here, Cam. I will be pilfering it for sermon fodder this week! Also, I need a good illustration of forgiven and I think I found it!

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